Sensory Overload from Menstruation and Halloween Costume

Content Warnings: periods, blood, unsanitary (all text, no photos. that would be gross. there is a photo of my costume though!)

Everyone who experiences menstruation agrees that it totally sucks.

For non-binary and "trans masculine" folks, there's the added edge of dysphoria. For autistics and others with sensory processing disorder, the physical pain is unbearable.

If you fall under both of those categories, like myself, you're looking at a recipe for a major meltdown. And whenever my faulty uterus decides to menstruate, that's almost all I experience for both three days before it happens, and the entire timeline of my cycle.

When I say "faulty", I mean I rarely have 3 periods in a row. This month marks the first time this has happened in over a year.

It doesn't exactly help that my cycle is heavy and erratic. I can bleed through overnight pads in less than two hours, I frequently take the absolute maximum dosage of both ibuprofen and Tylenol (guess what, neither of them touch my cramps), and I get very sick.

In the three days before my cycle starts, I become even more of an emotional roller coaster than usual and get near-constant motion sickness. Thanks to pre-menstrual cramps, you can catch me in my PJs crying from unnecessary pain.

When it finally happens, it's so painful and I can barely walk or eat. Earlier today, for example, I had a meltdown while trying to clean myself up from a combination of pain, mess, and embarrassment.

The white jeans I had been wearing (dangerous decision) for my Homestar Runner costume were absolute hell to have anywhere on my body because of how awkwardly they fit, and had a couple blood spots, so those had to be changed.

I'd bled so much that the entire right leg of my boxer briefs was soaked (surprisingly, that didn't leak through my pants), so I needed new underwear as well.

At this point, I couldn't stand the feeling of my Homestar shirt any longer, so I needed a new T-shirt, preferably a soft one.

But of course, when I went to the bathroom to clean up, I forgot all of that.

Thankfully, my favourite jeans were already on the floor in there, but I had to awkwardly waddle to my room to get a shirt and underwear. Once I made to my room, I lost it. I couldn't take the sensation of all that blood and pain any longer and spent the better part of an hour uncontrollably sobbing.

It was definitely one of my more mellow meltdowns, considering nothing got thrown and I didn't bite through any clothing. I attribute that to the fact that I was home alone during that time.

After I calmed down enough to go through the motions of getting cleaned up and getting dressed, I slept for four hours. Meltdowns are exhausting.

I had a decent day as Homestar, though! I take every opportunity to talk like him I can get.

Autism and Auditory Input: Part 1, Music

One of my favourite auditory stims of the last few years has been "goth" music. Anything dark and synth-y makes my head feel very tingly!

I'm particularly fond of Depeche Mode. There's something about Dave Gahan's voice that makes the experience more enjoyable than most other bands I listen to.

Take Skinny Puppy, for example - the music is A++ head-tingly, but the vocals leave a bit of a gap in full enjoyment. It doesn't help that I can't understand anything he says, all I understand is that it's English.

On the other (or, not "goth") side, Placebo produces a very similar affect to Depeche Mode. There's something about Molko's nasally whine that is exceptionally pleasurable to my brain.

Placebo's album, "Without You, I'm Nothing", is an auditory playground for my ears to explore and enjoy - except it's all perfect swing sets, and each song is like going to a different set and getting on my favourite swing of that set.

In other words, it's the best thing I could ever hope to experience.

Good-old synth pop also produces a very, very nice feeling, though it tends to be very... heterosexual (surprise! I'm gay).

All of this is because of my sensory processing disorder, which is one of my autistic traits and is one of the most common traits out there.

When I say music makes my head feel tingly, I'm not using any figures of speech, I am being literal. For instance, I am currently listening to Sleater-Kinney's album "All Hands on the Bad One". Every time Carrie or Corin does The Thing with their voice (if you've ever listened to a Sleater-Kinney album, you know what I'm talking about), my head literally feels as though the inside of it is tingling, or sparkling. It's a pleasant sensation to me.

On top of the sparkling feeling, it's also a little warm, like the sun is on the back of my head through a window.

I have no way of knowing if anyone else experiences this, or if this is something most people experience when they listen to music, though general consensus  says it's something that mostly autistic people feel.

Since it's officially Oct. 31st, 2016 where I am, Happy Halloween!

-Mark

Introduction

I doubt anyone, besides who I send this to, will remember the shitstorm that WitMS was, but it's where my blogging problem started. Of course, since then, I've switched to microblogging on Tumblr (like everyone else).

But, to everyone, Hello! I'm Mark, I'm 16, I'm autistic. No, I will not be cured. No, vaccines did not "give me autism". I've been this way since I was in the womb, and will continue to be this way 'til the tomb.

And I love it!

Mostly.

Allistics (non-autistics) will never grasp the sheer joy I get from Homestar Runner, or the pain of showering (even in "low pressure" showers! "Low pressure" is a lie!), or the safety and comfort of my Winnie the Pooh tsum tsum.

So, as a bit of an introduction:

Special interests (as of Oct. 30, 2016): Homestar Runner. Thats all I can think of tonight. (EDIT: Nov. 2, 2016) Jeffrey Dahmer, politics.

Most Frequent Stims (fidgets): Rocking, raptor hands, toe walking, tangles, finger spelling, tapping, and just sorta. wiggling.

A description: Chubby, buzzed hair that's grown for two months (is brown), septum piercing, two piercings in each ear, wears baggy jeans and shirts with jackets or flannels and converse with little Strong Bad faces on them. Slight unibrow.

This page will be a link at the top of this blog for anyone who wants to see it! If I edit anything, I'll list the date it was added in parentheses after it.

(tumblrs: cuomosboy, marktheaspieshark)